Stop Working Harder Than Your Team: A Leader's Guide to Breaking Free from Burnout
Has being a leader burned you out?
We've all been there. Whether you're leading a nonprofit team, facilitating a workshop, parenting a teenager, or managing a big project – there’s a moment when it feels like everything will fall apart unless you step in and do it yourself. The silence in a meeting feels unbearable. A deadline looms, and your team's progress seems too slow. Your kid's science fair project looks nothing like the Pinterest version. And there you are, ready to jump in and "fix" it all, even as exhaustion creeps in.
Sound familiar? You might be caught in the leadership burnout cycle of overfunctioning.
How Did We Get Here: Patterns to Unlearn
This pattern often starts early. Remember those dreaded group projects in school? The ones where you ended up doing everyone's parts "just to make sure it's done right"? That overachiever energy, that need to ensure everything is perfect, didn't just disappear when we graduated. For many of us, it followed us right into our adult roles – as leaders, parents, community organizers, and change-makers.
The Comfortable Trap of Overfunctioning
I used to wear my overfunctioning like a badge of honor. After all, isn't that what commitment to excellence looks like? I thought being a "great" leader meant:
Having an answer for every question
Filling every uncomfortable silence
Pushing people toward solutions
Rescuing every stuck moment
Being available 24/7
Making sure everything was "done right"
It felt good. Productive. Like I was really making a difference. Until burnout hit, and I realized this pattern wasn't serving anyone.
The Uncomfortable Truth About Leadership Burnout
Here's what I've learned the hard way: When leaders overfunction, others underfunction. It's a simple equation with profound implications. Every time we jump in to save the day, we're actually:
Robbing others of their chance to grow and contribute
Limiting the emergence of diverse perspectives
Taking ownership away from our teams
Blocking creative solutions from surfacing
Depleting our own energy reserves
Creating unsustainable dynamics that lead to burnout
The Power of Stepping Back From Doing It All Yourself
The real magic of leadership isn't in having all the answers – it's in creating the conditions for others to discover their own capability. When we finally learn to resist the urge to take over, remarkable things happen:
The "quiet ones" start speaking up, often offering profound insights
Different perspectives naturally emerge, creating richer discussions
Teams take ownership of their work and outcomes
Teams develop resilience and problem-solving skills
Unexpected and innovative solutions surface
Our own energy remains sustained, preventing burnout
Breaking Free from Overfunctioning
This pattern shows up differently across roles, but the impact is the same: burnout for us, underdevelopment for others. Here's how to break free in your specific context:
Strategies to Support Nonprofit Leaders
Create Clear Decision-Making Frameworks
Define which decisions need your input and which don't
Trust your team to handle day-to-day choices
Save your energy for truly strategic decisions
Build Sustainable Systems
Document processes so others can step in
Invest time in training and development
Create backup plans that don't rely on you
Practice Healthy Boundaries
Set realistic funding goals and timelines
Learn to say no to non-essential commitments
Model work-life balance for your team
Strategies to Support Parents No Matter Your Kids’ Ages
Allow Natural Consequences
Let small failures become learning opportunities
Resist the urge to complete forgotten homework
Give your kids space to problem-solve
Share the Load
Assign age-appropriate responsibilities
Accept "good enough" efforts
Let each family member own their tasks
Build Capability
Teach skills rather than taking over
Praise effort and problem-solving
Make time for learning, even if it takes longer
Strategies For Leadership Development Facilitators
Trust the Process
Design strong containers for discussion and learning, then step back
Allow silence to do its work
Let groups struggle productively with challenges
Shift from Expert to Guide
Ask powerful questions instead of giving answers
Create frameworks for groups to solve their own problems
Focus on process over content
Build Group Capacity
Teach basic facilitation skills to all participants
Rotate leadership roles within the group
Celebrate when the group succeeds without your intervention
The real learning and growth happens when we resist the urge to take over.
The key across all these roles is to invest your energy in creating conditions for success rather than doing the work yourself. Remember: Just like those school projects, the real learning and growth happens when we resist the urge to take over. Our role isn't to be the hero who does it all – it's to be the guide who creates the conditions for others to succeed.
Moving Toward Sustainable Leadership
Next time you feel that familiar urge to jump in and save the day, pause. Ask yourself: Am I working harder than my team/child/group? If the answer is yes, it might be time to step back and trust in the process you've created.
The most sustainable – and often most effective – leadership happens when we learn to do less, not more.
Want to explore more about building sustainable leadership practices? Let's connect and discuss strategies that work for your specific context.
Danielle PickensDanielle Pickens brings over two decades of experience in developing mid to senior-level leaders and teams within K12 public education, nonprofits, and mission-driven organizations.
